April 24, 2012

  • My Wonder Years (Ep. 01)


    04/21/2012 10:00pm

    When I was ten years old, NBC TV aired Adam, the story of a real life Florida boy who was kidnapped and brutally murdered. It starred Daniel J. Travanti (of Hill Street Blues) as John Walsh, the boy’s father who himself would become a star as host of Fox’s long-running America’s Most Wanted. Jobeth Williams (of Poltergeist fame) played the elder Walsh's ex-wife Revé. I add emphasis to “ex-wife” as apparently having his young son decapitated by a sexual predator made Mr. Walsh really hungry for side pussy. But that’s a story for different day.

    To coincide with the airing of Adam, the Parent Advisory Council at my elementary school invited Officer Hancock from the local Police Department to come to their meeting and talk about child abductions. During his presentation, the good constable passed around a series of crime scene photos showing the mutilated remains of children who had been kidnapped, raped, and murdered. Being a young one, I was of course at home under the care of a babysitter while it all went down. Based on my mother’s reaction the following day though, I can only speculate as to the bullshit Officer Hancock spewed on the audience of frightened young parents. I know at least my mom left there convinced that the horrible things she saw were everyday occurrences. I remember how shaken she was as she described one particular photo she saw. It was the charred carcass of a little boy who was tied to a tree, doused in gasoline, and burned alive.

    The following weekend my friends were all taking the bus into town to go to Zayre. Back then Zayre was the place to go for your Atari games as they always seemed to have the latest and greatest before anywhere else. Though I couldn’t then afford Demons to Diamonds on my two dollar a week allowance, it was somehow still a thrill to be able to look at it on the shelf and to grab a free copy of the new Atari Video Game Catalog while I was there. Anyway, when I asked my mom if I could go with them, the answer was “absolutely not”, lest I suffer the same fate as Adam Walsh. When I pleaded and told her that all the other kids' parents were letting them go, she said something to the effect of “Well apparently they don’t give a shit whether their kids live or die.” Thus I spent the day at home watching Adam 12 and Streets of San Francisco re-runs with my dad and being yelled at by my mom for having a messy room. My friends had a slightly better time. They walked around town, stopped at Dairy Queen for delicious frozen treats, and came back with boxes of these neat things called “Happy Snappers” - sort of like firecrackers for kids that didn’t need to be lit (you just tossed them on the ground and they went pop and sparked).

    For the next few years my mom kept me locked in the house to protect me from the masses of child murderers who were salivating outside, just waiting for me to step out.

    Fuck you Adam Walsh. If only your faggot ass ran a little faster that day my childhood wouldn’t have been fucked.


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Comments (64)

  • I remember when that movie about Adam came out.  I always felt sorry for John Walsh and the loss of his child.  I am sorry it pulled everything apart for him and that his wife and him eventually broke up.  I can't imagine what it does to a marriage to lose a child.

    I do respect the fact he has done so much with his pain to help others not experience his same pain.

  • Tricky thing; life. 

  • Well just maybe you would have been tired to a tree and set on fre if not for Adam Walsh's murder scaring the hell out of your mother. One never knows but fortunately my parents missed that movie 

  • @trunthepaige - I'm pretty sure that wouldn't have happened. In fact I'm pretty sure the odds of perishing in a house fire that I would have avoided if I were out playing with the other kids were much higher.

  • @SKANLYN - No doubt trying to keep kids perfectly safe is harming them more than anything else. Obesity and allergies have gone up dramatically sense that time  

  • I guess that movie is a little before my time...  I was encouraged to stay outside until the street lights came on. Then I had about 60 seconds to be inside lol.

  • My mom kind of did the same thing to me. I don't think that she meant to but for the longest time, until I got married, I walked around with the mentality that danger was around every corner. She always told me never to do this or that or I could end up raped and dead in a ditch somewhere. Luckily she has gotten out of the habit of telling that to my little sisters. Kind of screwed me for a long time though. =/ I especially had a horrible opinion of anything with a penis. >.<

  • "I add emphasis to “ex-wife” as apparently having his young son decapitated by a sexual predator made Mr. Walsh really hungry for side pussy."

    LMAO...it's amazing to think that this was the same man who was responsible for me wearing a "Kid Alert" bracelet for 2 years and beaten when a kickball would go out of bounds and it would alert my parents that I was AWOL...CALL THE POLICE! HIDE YO KIDS HIDE YO WIVES! 

    What happened to Adam was a tragedy, yes...but to encourage the masses to become paralyzed by fear? That's just messed...not for the public -for the kids who had to put up with that BS!

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