March 28, 2009

• Children of a lesser god

  I HATE DEAF PEOPLE

  03/28/2009 08:47pm

  “But why?” you may ask. Well, quite simply because if I don’t, WHO WILL???

  But SKANLYN, isn’t it wrong to hate someone just because they’re deaf?

  Yes, of course it is. That’s not the point. Hatred is a naturally occurring element and we all absorb it in varying quantities. We all belong to one or more subgroups of humanity and, for the most part, there are a number of people dedicated to hating us because of the group(s) to which we belong. Unfortunately some groups bear an unfair share of this burden while others escape virtually scot-free. This has the potential to present a very dangerous situation, the prime example being a place called Germany back in the 1930’s and 1940’s. Thus my point is that we all need to do more hating for the greater good. You see, there is a finite amount of hate in this universe and the greater the range over which we can spread it, the less the burden that any one group will have to bear. I would therefore encourage all of us to seek out previously unhated people and hate them to the best of our ability. I believe that only in this way can we approximate anything close to peace on earth.

  And so this brings me to the deaf, whom I shall offensively refer to as “dregs”. In hating any group of peoples, you of course need a pejorative name to call them and I think this one properly conveys the worthlessness that characterizes the average deaf person. If anyone out here has a better term, please do share it with me. Anyway, for far too long these hearing impaired motherfuckers have eluded their share of the hate burden. As a result Rodney King was beaten, Matthew Shepherd was murdered, and the synagogue down the road was vandalized.

  I guess I agree with your point SKANLYN and I would like to help you hate deaf people but what reasons should I give as to why dregs are so despicable?

  Great question! There are an infinite number of reasons to hate dregs but let me just give you the basics for now (more complete information will be forthcoming):
  

  • Taxes. Special needs education for the deaf in public schools is estimated to cost every tax payer $2,500 annually. On top of that, other publicly funded programs for the hearing impaired add an additional $4,000 to the tab.

  • They are lazy and shiftless. Most deaf people refuse to work. They just sit on their asses all day playing scratch tickets, eating Cheetos, and watching Jerry Springer in closed caption mode. Often they get up only to go to the mailbox and retrieve their social security and welfare checks.
    

  • They are stupid. The average I.Q. of a dreg is 73, slightly above the level designated for the mentally retarded.

  • They talk funny. There’s nothing worse than trying to converse with a lip reading mush mouth.
    

  • That annoying shit they do with their hands. I’m sure even non-deaf hating readers will agree that sign language is just plain irritating.

  • They are dirty. Ever been to a dreg’s home? Dirty dishes in the sink, roaches crawling out from under the fridge, the stench of cat urine and rotting food, un-flushed toilets, mold every where – just plain nasty! They also tend to bring their filth with them wherever they go. It is not uncommon for a dreg to go a week or more without showering or brushing his/her teeth and they tend to wash the clothes they wear only on rare occasions.
    

  • They carry disease. It is estimated that three out of every four deaf adults is infected with at least two sexually transmitted diseases at any given time. Genital warts are most common.

  • They are often pedophiles. Studies have shown that deaf men are more than four times more likely to molest children than persons with other disabilities. Most alarming indeed, especially in light of the prior bullet point.
    

  • They bring down property values. Picture this, you save your entire life for your dream house. You finally realize this ambition then a fucking dreg moves next door and your neighborhood is soon degraded by a tacky yellow sign reading “DEAF PERSON AREA”. Gets your blood boiling just thinking about it, doesn’t it?

  • They caused the housing crisis which nearly collapsed our entire financial system. The filthy liberalsinCongress had incented banks to loan hundreds of billions of dollars to deaf persons who had no means to pay their mortgage. Did no one realize that the tacky yellow signs noted above would make the property virtually worthless when the banks eventually foreclosed?
    

  • They killed our Lord. Historical records show that one of the Roman soldiers who nailed Jesus to the cross was in fact deaf as were several of the people in crowd who demanded that he be crucified in lieu of Barabbas.

  Wow! Those sure are some good reasons to hate deaf people. How will you get the word out about this stuff given the liberal bias of the mainstream media?

  My first course of action will be to organize a street team. I have printed 20,000 “FUCK THE DEAF” bumper stickers which we will distribute outside sporting arenas and other large public venues along with a plethora of anti-deaf literature which I am putting together at present (if you would like to obtain these materials to distribute in your home town, I would be happy to mail you a supply). Additionally, I plan to use children as a valuable resource in this effort. Schools allot a certain amount of time each year for assemblies and I shall see what I can do in my district to get in and talk to the kids about why they should hate their deaf classmates. Of course bullying a dreg can be most difficult as name calling and other verbal abuse is pretty futile. Generally you need to get physical – shove them, punch them, kick them, throw rocks at them, creep up behind them wearing a scary mask, etc. Spitting might also be a good option. Kids are creative though and I’m sure they’ll find the appropriate means. My job is pretty much to tell them what. It is up to them to determine how. In addition to school children, I also hope to work with police officers as they are in an ideal position to harass and intimidate. Inquiries from law enforcement will be welcomed and kept strictly confidential.
  

  While I believe this grass roots effort will be most useful in getting out the message that deaf people suck, I fully admit that it is going to take much time and effort. I am committed nonetheless. My ultimate goal is the election of anti-dreg candidates  eventually leading to the passage of discriminatory legislation and culminating in the criminalization of sign language and a constitutional amendment which declares the deaf to be 4/5 of a person (this makes sense since they lack 1/5 of their senses). Yeah, there’s a long road ahead but I have the audacity of hope.

  In closing, if there are any parents of deaf children out there who have been offended by this blog, I would just like to say fuck you but more importantly, fuck your dreg child.
  

  That is all.       

   

                                                                                                  You may say I'm a dreamer
  But I'm not the only one
  I hope someday you'll join us
  And the world will live as one

  -John Lennon

  

  • 8:47 pm
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