November 20, 2013
SKANLYN’s Top Ten Worst Cities in America
Having had the opportunity to travel all around this great nation, I’ve gotten the chance to visit a lot of great places. I’ve also gotten the chance to visit a lot of terrible places. Since there’s no fun in writing or reading about the positive, over the next several days I will be counting down the top ten WORST cities in the United States.
#8. CINCINNATI, OHIO
When one thinks of Cincinnati, names like Dr. Johnny Fever, Les Nessman (winner of five Buckeye Newshawk awards!), and Venus Flytrap probably come to mind. I know they did for me so I found myself quite choked-up my first day in town when I came upon the Tyler Davis Fountain, featured prominently during the opening credits of the classic television series WKRP in Cincinnati. As I stood there taking it in, a shaggy looking fella stumbled past me, stopped dead in his tracks about five feet in front, and proceeded to vomit onto the plaza. After seeing a little more of the city I had similar sentiments.
There are a lot of things to dislike about Cincinnati. It’s ugly, unsafe, and the air is poison. Most of all though, it’s boring. When the main selling point of a major American metropolis is its close proximity to Newport, Kentucky, a town of three square miles that boasts an aquarium and a really old post office, you know they’ve got problems. It also doesn’t help tourism efforts when business travelers, such as me, arrive in town a day early to do a little exploring only to find that everything’s closed on Sunday. This included the restaurant in my hotel. I thus found myself wandering downtown for more than an hour looking for someplace that could supply me with sustenance. Fortunately I stumbled upon a charming little bistro called Wendy’s that happened to be open. After enjoying some casual dining, including a unique dessert specialty of theirs called a “Frosty”, I decided to check out Cincinnati's world famous nightlife, only to find there is none. Well, I did come across a blind hobo on a street corner singing Al Green tunes, if that counts. Having no change on me to deposit into his coffee can, however, I didn’t feel right staying for his full performance so I retired to my hotel room where I turned on the local news and learned about the variety of drive-by shootings, armed robberies, and assorted other crimes that were committed around town earlier in the day.
Will your city be #1???