November 18, 2013
SKANLYN’s Top Ten Worst Cities in America
Having had the opportunity to travel all around this great nation, I’ve gotten the chance to visit a lot of great places. I’ve also gotten the chance to visit a lot of terrible places. Since there’s no fun in writing or reading about the positive, over the next several days I will be counting down the top ten WORST cities in the United States.
#10. SEATTLE, WASHINGTON
How can you possibly hate a city that’s got a monorail? Take a trip to Seattle you’ll find out exactly how!
In all fairness Seattle might well be on my list of best cities if it wasn’t for their godawful weather. Yeah, there’s also that thoroughly irritating population of scruffy, infrequently bathed, wool hat and flannel shirt wearing stoners who seem to comprise the wait staff everywhere you dine but they’re easily ignored, unlike the nearly constant drizzle and grey clouds. Seattle is also fairly chilly year round – not quite cold enough to freeze your ass off, just cold enough to make you perpetually uncomfortable. In spite of its abhorrent climate, however, there is actually a lot worth seeing and doing there.
Seattle’s most well known attraction is of course the Space Needle. Riding the elevator to the top will set you back twenty bucks but once up there you can step outside onto the circular balcony and look out into the opaque grey mist. At first I questioned who in their right mind thought it would be a good idea to build an observation tower in a place where constant fog and cloud cover limit the visibility to about three feet. After considering the lines of people willing to pay the significantly more than nominal fee to go up there I could only surmise a real genius – that’s who!
Pike’s Place, while not quite as iconic as the Space Needle, more closely represents what I consider to be the essence of Seattle. That is, a feeling of utter “yuck”. If you’ve been there then you know exactly what I mean. Stepping into the marketplace, your clothes wet from the cold rain outside, you immediately and profusely begin to perspire (it’s hot as Hell in there). As the warm sweat from your flesh soaks into your already soggy attire, you find yourself enveloped in a sensation of stickiness and dampness. It is this feeling of “yuck” that I most closely associate with Seattle.
While it does rightfully earn its place on my list, Seattle does have significantly more positive attributes than the other nine cities about which I have written. Aesthetically it’s beautiful – the greenest grass, trees, and other plant life you’ve ever seen, a downtown that is immaculately clean. There’s also a plethora of museums, great restaurants, and nightlife. That’s all eclipsed, however, by the lack of sunlight, a feeling of general malaise that overcomes you and does not go away until you leave, and the air of melancholy that pervades every corner of the city. Combine all that with the previous mentioned “yuck” and it’s no wonder Seattle has the highest suicide rate of any major U.S. city.
Will your city be #1???