May 13, 2010

  • I’ve Written a Kindle eBook!


    You guys, you guys - I’ve written a book! That’s right, little ol’ me is a published author! It's called, PHANTASTIKA: A Collection of Shit Poetry and  Unoriginal Stories About Fairies, Werewolves, and Other Stupid Stuff and will soon be available for your reading pleasure! Yeah, I know PHANTASTIKA should have been spelled with an “F” but an inferior author already stole the title and I didn’t want to risk you all buying her book accidentally instead of mine.

    Anyway, I’ve written it in the most pretentious language possible (making frequent use of adjectives like “splendiferous”) to remind you of how intelligent I am despite my education from a fourth rate Canadian university. You’ll also find my trademark narcissism and morally reprehensible value system evident throughout. It’s 109 pages of pure inspiration!

    Yes, I’ve finally made it! I can hardly believe it! I’ve no time to celebrate though. It’s time to get started on my next book already. I’m thinking of doing something about sex next, you know like the irresponsible advice I give to teenage girls in my “Dr. SKANLYN Speaks" posts. Yeah, I know, that one girl committed suicide when I encouraged her to sext her boyfriend and he forwarded it to the whole school but hey, just because it sucks to be her doesn’t mean the rest of us should suffer.

    Anyway, be sure to order PHANTASTIKA when it hits the Kindle store in a few days. I’m sure my bestest Xanga buddy “terminal_is_existence” will be good for a hundred copies or so.

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