April 11, 2009





    Fact or Faux:

    Actor Richard Gere once made a late night trip to the emergency room to have a gerbil extracted from his rectum.




    But don’t worry, he’s not homosexual, just Buddhist.


    This story has been confirmed by my friend Joey G. whose cousin was a nurse at Cedars Sinai Medical Center back in 1984 and was in the building that fateful night when Mr. Gere made his appearance. Apparently he was practicing a Buddhist ritual that went awry. Curious as to what kind of religion condones the insertion of small mammals into the anal cavity, I decided to look into the matter further. I put on my hat, grabbed my magnifying glass then lit my pipe and uttered “elementary” for no apparent reason and proceeded with my investigation of this “Buddhism”.


    From my research I learned the following:


    • The religion was founded by some Korean guy named Moon (Buddhists often refer to themselves as “Moonies”).


    • Originally the Buddhists were from Indianapolis but then moved their headquarters to California which turned out to be a bad decision. They weren’t accepted there and were constantly harassed by police and politicians who wanted to crack down on them for their communist views. Consequently, they relocated the whole operation to Guyana.


    • While in Guyana, they were called Home by their deity, “The Buddha”, a smiling fat man made of chocolate who sits Indian style for all eternity. They mixed up some grape juice with cyanide then drank it and went off to Buddhaland.

    The writings that Moon and his followers left behind are the foundation for modern-day Buddhism and describe the many rituals a Buddhist is supposed to follow. As it turns out, Richard Gere had been practicing something called metta bhavana which involves inserting a cardboard tube into the anus then placing a rodent into the tube. One’s hand is then placed over the end of the tube. The rodent, in a desperate search for air, begins frantically burrowing into the anus and, in doing so, stimulates the Buddhist “sacred spot” (i.e., the prostate) thus bringing about an orgasmic state known as nirvana.  In addition to the autoerotic pleasure provided, this act is also supposed to prevent one from getting reborn as a bug or, worse yet, a gerbil who meets his/her unfortunate end in someone’s colon.


    Contrary to popular opinions on stimulation of the male anus, Buddhists maintain that this ritual “don’t make you queer or nuthin’, just spiritual.” While I certainly have an appreciation for spirituality of any kind, I tend to think this particular variety is not for me. Thus the next time those Buddhist recruiters come knocking at my door on a Sunday morning (you know the ones - white short sleeve dress shirts, black ties, always  trying to get you to read their “Watchtower” magazine) I’ll just have to pass on their offer of eternal salvation. I prefer that animals pass through my rectum on the way out only.



    create counter

Comments (73)

  • i've never heard of this buddhist practice before. haha. thanks for the info, very um, insightful?

  • @ohsodainty - I do what I can to keep people informed.

  • wow ur stupid. u must really not have a life at all.

  • i think u have gerbils stimulating your "sacred spot". thanks for the useful information! fag

  • I find this very offensive! I have family who are Buddhist and for you to sit here and make fun of our religion to make up a stupid story about Richard Gere makes you insensitive. Just so you know anything outside of intercourse in Buddhist religion is forbidden and will lead you to getting disrobed and kicked out of the religion. You think your funny? How would you like it if people started making fun of your religion?

  • you really can't be serious... can you?

    this must be a joke, no one could really believe a WORD of what you wrote here, even beyond the hamsters, from INDIANAPOLIS?? REALLY?? hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

    and the fact that you had to look up buddhism to know the basics on it most likely insinuates that you never went beyond the seventh grade.

  • i thought it was funny. hahhahah. why is everyone so damn mad? sheeeesh. i'd have to research buddhism too. 

  • I sense a joke post!

  • @nikki10044 - can't you tell that this is a joke???

  • I think you need to look up your facts on Buddhism again.

  • ah, I was thinking he was a christian scientist.

    ROFL this can't be right.
    a Buddhist ritual that went awry
    DUDE, buddhists are not moonies!  You are such a total mind fucker!    it was not founded by a korean guy, rofl.
    OK, roar, I am roaring with laughter with this one:
    metta bhavanawhich involves inserting a cardboard tube into the anus then placing a rodent into the tube.
    stimulates the Buddhist “sacred spot” (i.e., the prostate) thus bringing about an orgasmic state known as nirvana upposed to prevent one from getting reborn as a bug or, worse yet, a gerbil who meets his/her unfortunate end in someone’s colon.
    hey man, save that red neck hick talk for the christians who actually deserve it!
    Buddhists maintain that this ritual “don’t make you queer or nuthin’, just spiritual.”
    HA HA, now the buddhists are JW's this who blog is entirely clever and hilarious, actually.
    Hey man, chocolate buddha isn't nearly so bizarre to me as rand paul's Aqua Buddha, seriously

  • wish I could rec it repeatedly, ba ha.

  • i really just don't know what to say other than you are one sick bastard. someone should beat you or something. i mean you can't even tell a fucking story using actual facts. coming to your site has just wasted 5 minutes of my time that i will never get back. what a fucking waste you are. you really disgust me. this is me spitting on you.

  • Hahahaha.

    Object lesson in critical thinking, this post. 

  • @Babylons_Crowing - totally!  he keeps us on our toes, although by paragraph 2 I'd pretty much caught up to the spoof.

    @Zen Buddha - Oh Come ON.  Buddha would have laughed his ass off!  Jesus people!

  • @Zen Buddha - hey dumbass every religion gets made fun of, not to mention its not even your religion its a family member of yours'. So pull the hamster out of your ass and get a sense of humor

  • people put stuff on the internet thats not true all the time and we've all looked at this, hell i just wanted proof of the story about richard gere. could care less about the religion. and if you seriously get mad about what nameless, faceless strangers put on stupid webpages like this one then, wow. chill out.

  • To the person who wrote that crap, I want to tell you that you are an idiot and your sense of humour is pathetic.

    Take note please so that you are not tempted to write such crap again. I resent having wasted my time visiting your site. You are pathetic.

  • You pathetic moron.

    You think you are funny ???????  

    Only a retard like yourself could think so.

    So dont waste peoples time and insult their intelligence with your stupid web site.


  • can you be my dad?

  •  I was just told tonight that it was TRUE according to someone who worked for the doctor on duty in the ER that night Bruce Frome, M.D. who happens to be an Anesthesiologist in Beverly Hills, CA http://www.casewatch.org/board/med/frome/order.shtml

    Guess the blogger here  http://skanlyn.xanga.com/698639383/fact-or-faux/? could investigate deeper with his friend Joey G's cousins to verify if this doc was on duty that night at Cedars Sinai Medical Center back in 1984 too.

  • I found this pretty funny!!! And for all the ppl that r so offended by this or tell the writer that he's a loser, etc: Why did u come to this site?? I came because I remembered that old rumor tonight and I wanted to see if there was any proof to it....so I imagine that each person who has read this post (even the ppl who commented mean & hurtful things about the writer) HAD to have been in search of any truth of the Richard Gere & gerbil rumor!!! So why r u being such a hater??? If u DON'T believe what he wrote, just take it as a joke!!! If u do believe it, then that's ur choice!!! There's no reason to verbally attack the writer or his/her intelligence!!! That's just f-ed up and shows YOUR character, or lack there of.

  • I'm extremely pleased to discover this great site.
    I wanted to thank you for ones time due to this wonderful read!!
    I definitely liked every little bit of it
    and i also have you bookmarked to check out new things in your

  • Good day I am so grateful I found your site, I really found you by error, while I was researching on Yahoo for something else, Anyways I am here now and would just like to say many thanks for
    a marvelous post and a all round interesting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read through it all
    at the moment but I have book-marked it and also added your
    RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read much more, Please do keep up the excellent

  • Thanks for one's marvelous posting! I truly enjoyed
    reading it, you may be a great author. I will ensure that I bookmark your
    blog and will come back very soon. I want to encourage yourself to continue
    your great work, have a nice weekend!

  • You're so cool! I do not think I've truly read through something like this
    before. So wonderful to discover another person with genuine
    thoughts on this subject. Seriously.. thanks for starting this up.
    This web site is one thing that is required on the
    web, someone with a bit of originality!

  • I just like the valuable info you supply for your articles.
    I will bookmark your weblog and take a look at once more here
    regularly. I am moderately sure I will learn many new stuff proper here!
    Good luck for the following!

  • Thank you for every other fantastic article. The place else
    may anybody get that kind of information in such a perfect approach of writing?
    I've a presentation subsequent week, and I'm on the search for such information.

  • Thanks for finally writing about >FACT OR FAUX | SKANLYN's Xanga Site
    <Liked it!

  • It is not my first time to go to see this site, i am visiting this website dailly and get
    fastidious data from here everyday.

  • It's a shame you don't have a donate button! I'd most certainly donate to this excellent blog!

    I guess for now i'll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account.

    I look forward to fresh updates and will share this website with my Facebook group.
    Talk soon!

  • I have been browsing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It's pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all web owners and bloggers made good content
    as you did, the internet will be a lot more useful than ever before.

  • Amazing issues here. I'm very happy to peer your post. Thanks so much and I am having a look forward
    to touch you. Will you please drop me a mail?

  • Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much
    about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.
    I think that you could do with a few pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is wonderful
    blog. A fantastic read. I will definitely be back.

  • Link exchange is nothing else but it is simply placing the other person's blog link
    on your page at appropriate place and other person will also do same for you.

  • you're in reality a good webmaster. The site loading pace is amazing.
    It sort of feels that you are doing any unique trick.
    In addition, The contents are masterpiece. you have done a
    fantastic activity in this subject!

  • First of all I would like to say great blog! I had a
    quick question that I'd like to ask if you do not
    mind. I was interested to know how you center yourself and clear your thoughts prior to writing.
    I've had trouble clearing my thoughts in getting my
    ideas out. I do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes tend to be
    wasted just trying to figure out how to begin. Any
    recommendations or tips? Cheers!

  • My family every time say that I am killing my time here at web, except I know I am getting knowledge everyday
    by reading thes good articles or reviews.

  • I was very happy to uncover this great site. I need to to thank you for
    your time due to this fantastic read!! I definitely enjoyed every little bit
    of it and I have you bookmarked to see new information in your website.

  • I'm not sure why but this web site is loading extremely slow for me.
    Is anyone else having this issue or is it a problem on my end?
    I'll check back later and see if the problem still exists.

  • You're so cool! I do not believe I've truly read through
    anything like that before. So great to find another person with unique
    thoughts on this issue. Really.. thank you for starting this up.
    This web site is something that is required on the web, someone with
    a little originality!

  • Having read this I thought it was rather informative.
    I appreciate you taking the time and effort to
    put this content together. I once again find myself personally spending a significant amount of time both reading and posting comments.
    But so what, it was still worth it!

  • My spouse and I stumbled over here from a different website and thought
    I might as well check things out. I like what I see so now
    i am following you. Look forward to going over your web page repeatedly.

  • Very energetic post, I enjoyed that a lot. Will there be a part 2?

  • When some one searches for his vital thing, so he/she needs to be available that in detail, so that thing is maintained over here.

  • I'm very happy to uncover this web site. I wanted
    to thank you for your time for this fantastic read!! I definitely enjoyed every little bit of it and I have you saved as
    a favorite to look at new things in your web site.

  • Oh my goodness! Awesome article dude! Thank you, However I
    am going through troubles with your RSS. I don't understand the
    reason why I can't subscribe to it. Is there anybody else having the
    same RSS problems? Anyone who knows the solution will
    you kindly respond? Thanx!!

  • It's very easy to find out any topic on net as compared to books, as I found
    this piece of writing at this site.

  • Magnificent beat ! I would like to apprentice even as you amend your web site, how could i subscribe
    for a blog site? The account helped me a applicable deal.
    I have been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered vivid
    clear concept

  • Keep on working, great job!

  • Great info. Lucky me I ran across your blog by chance
    (stumbleupon). I've book-marked it for later!

  • Just want to say your article is as surprising.
    The clearness in your post is just cool and i
    could assume you're an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep updated with forthcoming post.
    Thanks a million and please carry on the rewarding work.

  • You made some good points there. I looked on the internet for more info about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your
    views on this website.

  • Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular article!
    It is the little changes that produce the greatest changes.
    Thanks for sharing!

  • I keep listening to the news lecture about getting free online grant applications so I have been looking around for the top site to get one. Could you tell me please, where could i get some?

  • How To Hire A Suitable Attorney

  • Thanks for sharing your thoughts on Foot Pain Diagnosis.

  • Every weekend i used to visit this web site, for the reason that i wish for enjoyment, for the reason that this this
    site conations genuinely nice funny material too.

  • For hottest information you have to pay a quick visit internet
    and on internet I found this web site as a most excellent web page for hottest updates.

  • Today, I went to the beach with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my
    4 year old daughter and said "You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear." She put the
    shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched
    her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off
    topic but I had to tell someone!

  • No matter if some one searches for his essential thing, so he/she wants
    to be available that in detail, therefore that thing is maintained
    over here.

  • That is very interesting, You're an excessively professional blogger.
    I have joined your feed and sit up for in quest of extra of your excellent post.
    Also, I've shared your website in my social networks

  • My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find most of your post's
    to be just what I'm looking for. Would you offer guest
    writers to write content available for you? I wouldn't mind creating a post or elaborating on most of the subjects you write regarding
    here. Again, awesome web log!

  • Hi to every , as I am actually eager of reading this website's
    post to be updated regularly. It contains fastidious stuff.

  • Heya! I understand this is kind of off-topic but I had
    to ask. Does operating a well-established blog
    like yours require a massive amount work? I'm completely new to blogging but I
    do write in my journal everyday. I'd like to start a blog so I can share my own experience and thoughts online.
    Please let me know if you have any recommendations or tips for new
    aspiring bloggers. Thankyou!

  • It's awesome to go to see this website and reading the views of all friends concerning this article, while I am also keen of getting know-how.

  • I every time used to study article in news papers but now as I am a user of internet so
    from now I am using net for articles or reviews, thanks to web.

  • Excellent article! We will be linking to this particularly great article on our site.
    Keep up the good writing.

  • We stumbled over here from a different web address and thought I might as well check things
    out. I like what I see so now i'm following you.
    Look forward to looking into your web page for a second time.

  • Hello to every one, the contents present at this web page are genuinely remarkable for people experience, well, keep up the good work fellows.

  • This is my first time pay a visit at here and i am truly impressed to read all at one place.

  • My brother recommended I might like this blog.
    He was entirely right. This post actually made my day.
    You cann't imagine just how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

Post a Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.